It has been a long time since I've posted a blog entry. Basically, I started writing my blog and almost immediately quit. I think I felt a little silly and self indulgent sharing my thoughts with whomever might come across it. Since then, I have taken an interest in writing poetry and short stories.
I don't know that I've been able to continue a craft or a hobby without the approval of others. That's difficult for me to admit. I'd like to think that the last ten years of my painting was purely due to my own passion and motivation for the actual process and respect for the craft. I don't know that I would have continued painting for so long had people not told me I was good at it.
I recently took a class with an English professor who encouraged me to write. Recently, he said something to the effect that you cannot look to others for approval. There are plenty of writers out there who have had personal success because they stood up and believed in their own work while ignoring the criticisms of others. Without experimentation and believing in one's own work, we would not have prose poetry or micro fiction. There would be no Faulkner or Bukowski.
The reason for my returning to blogging was inspired by someone else I know who keeps a blog. I warn anyone before they visit his blog, that you will forever feel guilty for your petty gripes about life, whether it be about unemployment or a broken heart...very few can say they understand true suffering and the ability to maintain a positive outlook on life. His story breaks my heart but also inspires me to be productive while I still have my health. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what material I will have for my blog if I hold my self to the standards of Brian. I still complain about life...and unemployment...and heartache. It's where I get all my material. I am completely immersed in my emotions and finding new ways to let them wash over me. I am human after all and I have only looked at the world through my own eyes. I do try to be a better person. I really do. At least there's that. I try not to have thoughts or say things that would warrant the need for someone to throw me in a hand basket and send me to hell. Then again, sometimes I down right embrace this side of me without remorse.
Please visit Brian at the Help Brian Nice Project
He's an incredible person and artist.